Thursday, October 15, 2009

Friday, October 9, 2009

I have a months worth of catching up to do. Di Di's World was a lot of fun!! I was actually quite impressed. There were some small roller coasters for the young children, the spinning tea cups, a ride like the "egg scrambler" at oaks park, a ride like the dragon boat at oaks park....it was pretty fun. And watching the kids faces while they went on the rides for the first time was priceless. Some were laughing, some you could tell were scared, a few started crying. Over all, it was a fun day though. The kids enjoyed it...and so did I.
During the kids Holiday we also went swimming--which when we go, for us adults, it turns into a whole day event. We take all the boys together, and then come back with the boys, and take all the girls. Normally after one group is finished, I am already exhausted--but I like to go with the second group still because it is so much fun for the kids--and it is fun to play with the kids in the water and watch them laughing and having so much fun. Since none of our kids know how to swim, it is also good to have as many extra pairs of eyes around just to keep an eye on all the kids and make sure everyone is doing okay.
Another fun thing we did during the holidays, just at our home was have a day where we had a water baloon toss, three legged race, wheel barrow race, water balloon fight, hot potato game, dance competion, and sweeties and soda. It was a fun family day. The kids had a lot of fun. And so did we. Everyone was laughing. Watching the yougest group of kids--kids 3-6 years old trying to do a 3 legged race was hilarious. The dancing competition was quite entertaining as well. It was a fun day with the kids.

I can't believe it is October already. A lot has happened--but it is hard to fill in a months worth all in one letter. I will close for now....


Thursday, September 3, 2009

I got malaria- and things haven't been the same since. I don't quite know how to explain it, I didn't even get that bad a case of malaria. Holly and William are back now, which has been really nice. It is nice to have some of the responsibility lifted from my shoulders and the freedom to leave when I feel like I need a break. All the kids are healthy right now-- I haven't had to make a clinic trip in over a week--that has got to be a record!! The kids health is something to praise God for!!
This is the kids last week of holiday before they go back to school. We have tried to make this week fun for them. One day we had a "party" day- and had water balloon fights, 3 legged race, wheel barrow race, water relay, dance competion, and snacks and soda. It was so much fun for them--and fun for us to watch them have so much fun!! Another day we took them to a nearbye swimming pool--exhausting for us, but again, so fun seeing them have so much fun as they jump on our backs and swim around under water. Friday we are taking them to "Dee Dee's World" in Kampala. It is an amusement park/water park. I have no idea what it will be like. I'm sure it will be fun for them though. We don't normally get to do all these things with them--this has been a special week for them though. It is priceless to see their excitment and happiness over even the smallest things! It's alot of fun.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

God,
You are good. I thank you for your faithfullness. I thank you that you hold me in your arms. That you hold me close against your chest and reassure me that everything is ok. God, I have got caught up in the business of life. I have got distracted. My gaze has come off of you, and onto circumstances and stress and things that need done. Help me to slow down again. Help me to slow down, and live in each moment. To never be to busy to greet and talk to the person that you put in my path. To never be in to much of a hurry, that I brush a crying child off- or that I slip out of the hold of a child who just wants a hug. Erase the "to do" list in my head. Sometimes I feel like the place is just barely holding together--and then I realize I am trying to hold it up on my own. God, how I need you! Bring peace to my spirit oh God! Bring rest in the midst of chaos. May my love for these children and these people be reknewed! May my convictions and servants heart be reknewed by you! May my gaze be fixed firmly on you. May I be swept away and awed by you. By your love for me. By the way you meet with me. By the way you speak to me. May I be swept away....by you. Once again. May I be captivated by you. God I love you, and I want to be near you. I find myself amazed by you.....
Come and breathe life into me. Awaken my spirit Awaken my love. Alligne my heart with yours. May it beat for what yours beats for, and break along with yours when your heart breaks. I love you, and just want to be near you right now.

Love,
Anna

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

July 28th

The Emergency Room here is much different than ones that we are used to. There were four of us in the room. My boy, and three others. There were not only four because that were all that needed to be in there- but the room only had space for four kids.The girl on the table next to ours was laying motionless. The doctor ran over and began to shake her "girl! girl!! girl!!!"- no response. What is happening to her? Is she alive? Finally she made a small noise- just barely audible- but loud enough to know that there was still life. The doctor yelled for someone to bring blood. A bag of blood was brought and they hooked it up like an IV drip. I watched as they frantically checked to see if the blood transfer was working. It wasn't. After a minute or so, they disconnected the bag, yelling that the bag of blood was expired. They rushed to get another bag of blood to try to save this girls life. The doctor looked at me and my boy appoligetically. "I will be with you in a moment, I hope you understand that I am trying to save this girls life.". I nodded. My boy, Faizal, wasn't doing well- but he was not as bad off as this girl. My eyes filled with tears as I watched this young eight year old girl on the line between life and death. Her dad was standing over her watching helplessly.
As they continued to work on this girl, a mother with her 1 day old baby stood behind me. Another doctor came in and started to try to help her. The baby's chest was rising and falling at an incredible speed. I have never seen anything like it. I don't know what was wrong. I don't know why she was breathing so fast. The hooked her up to oxygen. Another woman brought her young baby in. She opened the blankets wrapped around her baby, and I heard her start to cry as the doctor gasped at the sight of the babies intestines being outside of the baby. My boy was probably in the best condition out of all of them. They put him on a drip, and then transfered him to a ward.
Faizal is still in the hospital, but he is doing better now. He can walk, eat, laugh, and stay awake now. He can sit up on his own. He has come a long way since we got him admitted. Thank you God for watching over him! Please pray that he will continue to get better.
While Faizal seems to be doing better, I wonder about those other children I saw. Are they okay? Did they make it? What happened to that little baby....? And that eight year old girl? ...........How do you process something like that? Each of those are a human life! A life. Someone's daughter, someone's son. Words don't adequately expain...

Thursday, July 9, 2009

I have grown to love the drives home in our big van after I pick up our 9 nursery school kids from school at noon each day. Normally these drives consist of me asking what they did at school, and then hearing from nine kids at once about how they ate chapatis and drank tea or porage and how they sang songs and wrote the word "sun". After talking about school, I usually appoint one of the kids to start singing, and we sing "blessed be your name" or some other worship song the whole rest of the way home. I love it so much.

Today's ride home from school though was a little different. It started out fairly normal: talking about school, having to repeatedly tell certain kids to "sit down" (there are no seat belts)- but it took a little bit of a different twist. Somehow, we ended up talking about death. They started telling me about "Jackie"- a girl at our home who died only a few months before I came. Now I had heard about her from Holly, as well as from the older children talking about her. I already new the story- but it was different hearing it from the mouths of these 5 and 6 year old children. They told me of how she got really sick, how they took her to the hospital, and how Mommy Holly said they were bringing her back, but that she was dead. They told me how Mommy and Cathy and some of the others started crying. After they had all finished with the story- I told them about how Jackie was now with Jesus. How when Jackie was here with us, she was very very sick- but now that she is with Jesus, she is very happy. And she is no longer sick. She gets to sit every day with Jesus and be near him and talk to him. And all her sickness is gone. My eyes began to fill with tears as this conversation, even though I never knew Jackie, struck a sensitive place in my heart. Inside, I realized that someday too, these kids, my kids, would be all better as well. Someday, if they love Jesus, they will be with him also and they will no longer have ANY sickness or disease.
As I thought about these things inside, I continued to talk with the kids about how even though it is sad for us when someone dies- for them, if they know Jesus- it is a very happy time for them- because they get to go live with Jesus, and because he heals them of all their sickness and pain. The kids seemed to understand. As we rounded the corner towards home, they started one by one piping up with "my daddy died", and another with "my auntie and ja-ja (grandmother) died", and another "my mommy and daddy died", and another "my brother died" and another "all my sisters died".........my tears began to spill over at the honesty and bluntness of these young children. As we pulled into our compound, I turned around in the drivers seat to look at them. I told them how God has given us a new family now. And it is right here. He has given us a mommy and daddy and brothers and sisters...right here at our home. I told them how if their mommy's and daddy's and brother's and sisters' and aunties' loved Jesus- then one day, when we meet Jesus in heaven, we will get to see them again too. They all nodded silently as they climbed out of the van to go eat lunch.
I treasure these children so much, I am reminded how good it is to be honest and open like little children. I am reminded that someday, this disease that can sometimes over take these childrens' bodies- will have no power over them in heaven. In heaven, these children will be free.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

These are the stories of some of my kids. We don't know much about their stories or their pasts, but here is a little of what we do know.

Lydia. Fourteen years old. Both parents died of AIDS when Lydia was eight. She lived with her brother and sister-in-law, but her brother didn’t care about her because she had AIDS. He told her she was just going to die anyways- so what did it matter. Somehow Lydia managed to get transport to the city where she was able to get free food and medicine for minors. She then took the food she got for free, and sold it on the streets to pay for her transport every month to town to get her ARV meds. Budget cuts happened, and the food program was one that got cut. She went to pick up her medicine one more time and told the nurses it would be her last time there. She no longer had food to sale to get money for transport. So she told the nurses she was going to pick up her medicine one last time, and then go home and die. The nurses gave her some money for transport and were able to hook her up with our home. Her sister-in-law has come to visit her once or twice, but does not seem to really care about her well-being. Lydia is doing very well at our home now. She tends to be pretty quiet, but talks and laughs softly with the other girls and me as we talk. She is one of the older girls who now, instead of a handshake, often slips into my arms for a hug before going off to bed in the evenings.

Dan-Dire was orphaned. He was living in a village wandering around. He had one outfit. Some lady in the village was feeding him- but she left to attend a funeral, and never returned. Different people in the village took turns feeding him- sometimes. Dan-Dire is now happy and full of life at our home. We play football (soccer) almost on a daily basis. Every time I try to steal the ball from him he just starts laughing and laughing.

Gordan watched his father drown. His mother was an alcoholic. He was very depressed when he came. The security and friendship that he has found at our home has done wonders for him.

Small Daphine lived with her really old grandmother and grandfather. Her grandfather is now dead from cancer. Her grandmother was too old to take care of her, and had many other children she was attempting to take care of as well. I love watching Daphine when she doesn't know anyone is watching her. I often can catch her dancing and singing to herself in the yard. When she sees me watching she bursts into giggles, and covers her face in embarrassment. It is priceless.

Winnie and Stella’s mother had AIDS. She could not take care of them and dumped them. When Winnie and Stella came they were both very violent in their actions (scratching, biting, beating). They have both toned down a lot now. We do not know what happened to them in their past or what caused these actions. They run around happily now though. Their outbursts of anger and violence is now rare.

Laticia’s father horribly beat her and left her to die. A nurse found her and attempted to take care of her, but did not have the means to actually care for her. Laticia has only been with us for about a week now. She has adjusted so well to our family though. She is always running around with the other girls laughing, singing, dancing, and talking excitedly. It seems like she has always been with us.

Pius was dropped off at his Ja-Ja’s (Grandmother) house unexpectedly by his father. The Ja-Ja had not even known that Pius existed. She had no idea who the mother was. The mother has since come to visit him once since he has been with us. Ja-Ja had already lost 4 of her 6 children. Since finding out that Pius has AIDS, she now fears that she will soon only have one child remaining. She knows that since Pius has AIDS, his father (Ja-Ja's son) probably also has AIDS now also- and she will probably soon lose him now also. When Pius first came to us, he cried constantly. He refused to eat, and got more and more sickly. We didn't know what else to do for him, he was detirating very quickly. We checked him into the hospital here in Jinja. After 5 days in the hospital, being on a drip, and taking medicine- he began to eat again and regain his strength. Eating has now become his favorite past-time. He smiles, laughs, and eats anything you put in front of him. This past week he has just started to crawl.

Gloria’s mother dumped her in a pit-latrine. Holly says people do ridiculously horrible things when they are desperate and don't see a way out. Gloria's mother actually comes to visit and hold Gloria now from time to time.

Trophimus parents had both died of AIDS. He lived with his auntie, who had three kids of her own. His auntie had a stigma about people with AIDS. While her other children went to school and were well fed, Trophimus was kept home from school, not well fed, and not well taken care of. He is now a very happy child, loves to play football, and has the most beautiful smile I think I have ever seen. He shines his smile and softly giggles whenever we score a goal or make a good pass while playing football.

It blows my mind when I think about these children's stories. They have come out of such rough, painful backgrounds. Background where they were abandoned, abused, and unloved. They were made to feel worthless and unwanted. I start to cry as I think about this. These children have become the children I spend every day with. They have become my life. These children bring so much joy into my life. They are beautiful and precious. They have become my life.

Friday, June 26, 2009

I don't have many words to say today. I am thankful that God continues to stay faithful to me through hard times, and that he is a constant companion on days I am lonely. I am thankful for the laughter of a young child. I am thankful for soccer balls that fly at my head. I am thankful that I have learned how to hit those soccer balls with my head. I am thankful for babies who smile and lift their arms to be held. I am thankful for my own room. I am thankful for the sound of children's voices singing praises to God. I am thankful for dancing. I am thankful for a small hand that slips into mine and a voice that follows and says "hi mommy anna".

Monday, June 22, 2009

Time keeps slipping away from me- and before I know it, weeks have gone by since I have updated here.
We got a new little girl named Leticia the other day. She is four years old and seems to be adjusting to our home very nicely.
Two of our girls have malaria right now. Malaria seems to be hitting left and right all of a sudden. I am not sure why- but the amount of trips that I have been taking with kids to get malaria tests has shot up significantly in the last week in a half.
The longer I am here, the more settled in I get. I am very used to life at the home now. You never know what to expect. But somehow, you get used to that too. My day never goes the way I think it will. Clinic trips, malaria test trips, and random other things spring up out of the blue at all times of the day. It is the life here though- and like I said, you get used to even that.
The children are doing well for the most part. There are always stomach pains, flu's, or head aches going around- but for the most part- the children's spirits are high and there is much laughter and fun at our home. As with any home- we also have our fair share of fights, quarrels and problems. My patience is tested almost on a daily basis while dealing with these issues- but God continues to supply me with just the right amount of patience and wisdom needed for each day. Think how many quarrels or fights you have in a family with 4 kids- then think of how many you would have if you had 40 kids-and that is our life here! It is somehow humerous, yet difficult at times.
Although it is overwhelming at times to live at the home and be there 24/7- that is the life of a mother- and I am so glad that I get to live every day along side these children. I adore these children.
Frequent soccer games, tree climbing, and gymnastics with the boys, and dancing, singing, and jump rope with the girls- fill many parts of the week. Clinic trips, errands, church events, and pharmacy runs fill other parts of the week. The days and weeks are good though- and I am so thankful to be here.
I have come to love the african woman (mammas) who work at our home also. They have been such an encouragement to me. There are many laughs and talks with them as we peel potatos, bananas, and wash dishes. I am so thankful for them being in my life.
Please continue to pray for the children here. Pray for their health. Pray that God would make these children into men and women after his heart. Pray that God would give me the heart of a mother and that I would have the love, patience, wisdom, and energy of a mother.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Pius, the new baby we got about a week in a half ago, is doing much better! He is now back at home with us and is eating very well. He is on medicine for TB, and seems to be doing decent. We see many smiles from him these days and occasionally hear him giggle. He is a beautiful new addition to our family!

Saturday, May 23, 2009

I can't believe I have been here for two weeks now! The time has flown by! The Lord has been so faithful to me. There are days that are lonely and discouraging, and other days that are easy and fun- but regardless, it is good to be here. Those times when it is hard, I find God gently reminding me "Anna, why are you here?"- and at those times when I get discouraged or distracted I must be reminded "I am here to represent Christ. I am here to make him known. I am here to serve. My life is not my own. It is not about me- it is about Him"
There are opportunities everywhere I look. Opportunities to talk to the Mammas, love the kids, help with the dishes, change a dirty diaper, wash clothes, mop a floor or make a fool of myself dancing and make everyone around roll on th ground in laughter.
Every day I find I fall more and more in love with these children- especially the girls here. I have always thought that babies were the age I love the most- and although I really do love the babies, I am finding something special in the girls who are older. Those times late at night when I am up with the older girls, when all the work for the day is done, and they can be children- I find a beautiful side of them start to come out. This side of them is very child-like, and it is beautiful. It is the side of them that laughs, that does impressions of people and movies, the side of them that wants to curl up next to me and be held like a little girl. The older girls have a lot of responsibilities during the day, they help out around the home alot, and tend to be more serious and quiet during the day. I am beginning to treasure those times at night when we all come together and get to hang out as girls.
We got a new baby a few days ago. His name is Pius. Pius was dropped off by his father at his grandmothers doorstep. The father has not been seen since, and no one knows who the mother is. When I first saw Pius, I was struck by how much he resembles Edwin- a little baby I was very attached to last time I was in Africa. I have quickly become very attached to Pius because of this. He has been pretty sick since we got him though and he was admitted to the hospital today. Please by praying for him. He is very frail and skinny. He keeps vomitting up any food that we get down him. We expect he will have to stay in the hospital for a few days.
Other than that, most of the kids are doing pretty well physically. There are always headaches, stomach aches, tooth aches, and any other ache or pain you could think of that occurs every day. But for the most part, the kids are pretty healthy. They really are a beautiful group of children. They truly are a blessing from the Lord.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

I am now in Africa! Everything went very smoothly. I was met at the airport by Holly and William. How nice it was to arrive and have dear friends waiting there to meet me! Because I got there in the evening, we spent the night in Entebbe and headed back to Jinja Saturday morning. It is so good to be back. It feels like I am home. It is a good, good feeling.
I met all the kids yesterday afternoon. They are a beautiful, sweet hearted group of children. They have been so welcoming to me. I love how they come up and wrap their little arms around my waist and hold on. I love how when we walked to youth group at church yesterday evening, the girls hold my hands as we walk. My heart has already fallen in love with these children. One of the girls ask me yesterday if I was going to be there with them forever and ever. How do you answer a question like that?

It has been so good seeing dear friends here that I have not seen since I left! They have all greeted me so warmly and made me feel so welcome. Seeing Richard, Mary, Mamma Robina, some of the babies from Amani, and meeting Mary and Francis' new baby Leuban has been so good!
It is good to be back. I am so thankful that God has brought me back. I am so thankful to be able to be here with these children, these people.
Sitting on the airplane, it all seems surreal. I can’t believe that after 2 years, I am finally going back. I can’t believe I am actually on a plane heading back to Africa. Goodbyes to my family and close friends were really hard. God has put amazing people in my life who have walked through life with me, loved me, pushed me forward, encouraged me, and prayed for me. For these people, I am so thankful.
Even as hard as the goodbyes were to these people, there is a peace and comfort knowing that my best friend goes with me. That God goes before me, and he goes with me. There is joy In knowing that I am where he wants me to be- and that for this time in my life, this is where he has placed me. It amazes me to look back over these two years of being back in the states and see what God has done in my life and in my heart over that time. I am, once again, awed by his faithfulness to me. I am awed by his gentleness towards me. We serve an amazing God. A God who knows how to accomplish what he wants to accomplish. A God who knows the perfect timing for everything in his childrens lives. A God who cares enough to give us not what we want or what we think we need- but what he knows will be best for us. It amazes me the way he meets with us individually-in a way that is real and intimate. It amazes me how he brings just the right people into our lives to love us, teach us, correct us, help our hearts to heal. He is a good God.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

I didn't realize how it would change my life. I didn't realize how intertwined my life would become with theirs. I didn't know that when I left, I would feel my heart break, as If I was leaving my kids, my family, my home behind.
My time in Uganda changed me. It changed me at the core of who I am. For two years now, I have longed, prayed, cried, and wondered if I would ever get to go back.
And now I am.
May 7th I fly out of Portland, May 8th I arrive in Entebbe, Uganda.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Stop for the one. This is a phrase that I picked up along the way sometime during my time in Africa. Whether I heard it from a friend, read it in a book, saw it on a sign, or just came up with it myself- it is something that has stuck with me. I was reminded again and again, as I walked down those dusty brown streets in Jinja, Uganda, how Jesus, over and over again during his life on this earth stopped for whoever was in his path. Whether it was a manipulative tax collector, a blind begger, a group of little children, or a samaritan woman- how Jesus stopped what he was doing and put on hold where he was going, to talk with them, to heal them, to hold them....to meet them where they were at. And how I should do the same. Jesus never got too caught up in life to stop for people. He never was in too big of a hurry to heal someone who was sick or hold a little child. I long to have the heart that Jesus has for people. To stop for the one whoever and wherever that person happens to be.